Thank you for writing in with your question. From what you are saying here, it doesn’t sound like your boyfriend is necessarily doing anything wrong, except objectifying women’s bodies — (is it art or objectification?). You also describe him as emotionally unstable but I’m not sure what you mean by that exactly. So, the problem may be mostly yours and stemming from your self-described insecurity and jealousy.
I’m concerned that you lost so much weight while dating him and I’m concerned that you have found a partner who appears to be so focused on outward beauty. What you are describing is not a good combination.
I think it would be a good idea to see a therapist who specializes in body image/eating disorders just to make sure you make your decisions about this relationship from a healthy place. Once you do this, you may also benefit from some couple’s counseling to work on the fighting and emotional ups and down you both experience. Before you can work on the relationship’s future potential, you need to get a better handle on what is going on right now. Perhaps the ideal person for you is somewhere in between “boring” and “emotionally unstable,” but what is most important is loving yourself and knowing that you are worth it.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts