I was in a relationship with someone who abused me to the point I didn’t want to live anymore. He cheated on me, as well. He also allowed for his girlfriend to harass me. They even had sex and filmed it in my bed. After another physical attack, I called police. He’s still in jail months later. Recently, I was approached by a ‘mutual friend’. I was concerned, at first, but then talked it out and he assured me there was no connection. A month later, he brought another woman into my home and proceeded to be sexual with her while another of his friends was visiting. There is something wrong with me that this would go on. This is the same woman, I think. I didn’t see her, but I heard her and she sounds the same as the woman my ex was with. She’s broken my windshield, she tormented and injured one of my cats, she’s stolen from my purse, she’s stolen my house and car keys, she’s TORMENTED me. My ex denied denied denied. He called me crazy. When packing up his things, I found a pair of airline slippers under his nightstand. They were small — a female size 7 or 8, slim. I also found baby monitors with power cords. I actually broke down and hid a video camera outside. It recorded her climbing in our bedroom window with my ex’s help. She did this while I was downstairs making dinner. At times, I felt something was going on, but I didn’t ‘check’ on it, because I didn’t want to be wrong and look crazy or dumb, and I didn’t want to be right and look crazy or dumb. Because this had gone on for such a long time, I think I might’ve killed her if I’d have caught her. 400 words can’t do this justice. I wont be surprised if you call me crazy, too. I have no one I can trust. I tried to be a good woman. Why has she focussed on me like this? Is it fun? I never could get a name, of course, so I can’t get an anti-harassment order or anything. Even before the ‘mutual friend’, I thought she’d been in my house again, but decided I was being paranoid. This last incident makes me wonder, now. This has me so confused and I think I am crazy, now.
These things either are or are not happening to you. You are not paranoid if the things that you are claiming to be true are in fact true.
You said that you have recorded the woman you suspect to be harassing you climbing in and out of your bedroom window with the help of your ex. If you have that video evidence, then you should give it to the police. It would be proof of your claims.
You wrote that you have no one that you can trust but that is no more true for you than for anyone else. Some people are trustworthy and some people are not. You should be able to trust the police, a minister and a therapist. That’s true for you and everyone else. Of course there are exceptions, but generally speaking you can trust those people. Their level of trustworthiness is the same for you as for anyone else.
Try trusting a therapist. They will help you to sort out your situation. They can be the calm, cool, objective listener. They can offer advice. They can help you to feel better.
It is frightening to have someone harassing you. You would benefit from having a trusted friend or a counselor to help you through this difficult time in your life. Counseling could help to relieve the stress associated with these troubling situations and to learn how to best protect yourself. You should consider it. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Something Horribly Wrong with Me
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
APA Reference Randle, K. (2018). Something Horribly Wrong with Me. Psych Central.
Retrieved on September 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/03/31/something-horribly-wrong-with-me/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.