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Home » Ask the Therapist » Unable to Produce Results, Caught Up in a Huge Lie

Unable to Produce Results, Caught Up in a Huge Lie

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I met a my best friend when I was 16 and we started dreaming of doing amazing things. We decided to go to France after highschool (we were 18) and study robotics and then later on founded an NGO about education. I have so much fun learning on my spare time with him all about robotics, and child psychology, how to create workshops to teach children about technology at a young age. All was good except my studies. I never graduated from my associate degree in mechanical engineering and that’s when the lying started. I lied to my family back home in Morocco and I’ve been lying to him. I told everyone that I graduated and that I was enrolled in a Masters of engineering. Trouble came when I had to apply for a renewal to my residence permit in France. I couldn’t provide grade reports so I was refused the stay and had to go back home. That’s when I told my best friend the truth. My mum found out after I got home. The problem now is that there are still people (friends) in my life that I’m still lying to. I’m currently enrolled in an engineering degree in Morocco (after 2 years of only focusing on creating the NGO I mentioned and working with my best friend who didn’t give up on me and slowly got me out of my little depression). How did I let things get to such a bad outcome? I don’t know. I suffer from a serious case of laziness and inconsistency. I know I have the potential to do great things, I still get involved in too much¬†endeavors but I can’t produce results. I still don’t know why. The why that made me lie to my friends and family because it would be a shock to them that i didn’t succeed. I don’t know to extract myself from all this. I really don’t. Help me, doctor.

Unable to Produce Results, Caught Up in a Huge Lie

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A.

You can’t go wrong with the truth. Going forward, make a concerted effort to be honest. Yes, it might be difficult, but you must try to stop misrepresenting the truth. Continuing to lie will only make the problem worse.

You wrote about having a “serious case of laziness and inconsistency and that you “get involved in too much endeavors but can’t produce results.” You might believe that there are certain things that you “should” be doing that you are not doing. Thus you make up stories to fill in the gaps.

The untruths you tell involve an embellishment of your accomplishments. This would suggest that you are unhappy with your accomplishments and wish for others to see you in a more positive light. Perhaps you have unrealistic ideas about what you think you need to accomplish in life. If your expectations were more realistic, then you might no longer feel the need to lie.

You can’t go back and change the past. Try to learn from your mistakes. If you continue to struggle, consider counseling. Counseling can help you to develop more realistic expectations and how to be satisfied with yourself and your accomplishments. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Unable to Produce Results, Caught Up in a Huge Lie

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Unable to Produce Results, Caught Up in a Huge Lie. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/03/24/unable-to-produce-results-caught-up-in-a-huge-lie/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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