My homicidal thoughts are starting to get intense and I’ve been to the hospital over a dozen times in the past two years and they cannot help me anymore. I’m not sure how to control these thoughts they’re getting to the point where I’ll get head aches and other aches in my body and high anxiety just thinking about it. I don’t know what to do I feel like I’m trying everything.Homicidal Thoughts
I know you feel as though hospitalization can’t help, but it seems like it has helped you in the past. Your having been hospitalized likely prevented you from engaging in dangerous acts. That’s proof that it can help. The hospital might be the only place that can prevent you doing something you would later regret.
Your complaints about headaches and body aches are unusual. It’s imperative that you report these symptoms because they could be indicative of an untreated medical condition. There might be a medical explanation for your intense feelings.
You might not like the hospital but they can keep you and others safe. When you can’t control your own behavior, you must let others help you. Is there a case manager at the local mental health clinic whom you trust? What about your family? Can they assist you? Utilize whatever support and help you have to prevent harming yourself or others.
If you were to kill someone, you could spend the rest of your life in prison. Prison is a hell on earth. It is not a place you would want to go to. Right now you’re free, but your freedom can and will be taken away from you if you commit murder.
Never stop trying to seek treatment because effective treatments do exist. Don’t give up and seek help immediately if you cannot control your behavior. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle