There have been other questions on here like this but they all had different stories. I’m 15 and I don’t know why but I want to feel sad, I want to feel depressed. I have no idea why. Other sites have said its for me to pity myself, but I hate doing that. I just want to sit on my bed and cry over nothing sometimes. Is there something wrong with me? I always tell myself “you just want to have attention” but I’m not that kind of person. I hate it when people talk to me, and ask me questions, and basically give me any attention. And I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time find a source that helps me understand what is wrong with me. Most of the sights say “the person may want attention” or “they are trying to have pity for yourself.” Again, like I said, I’m not that kind of person. Sometimes I even try to think of sad things, or I act sad when I’m alone, it’s not even around people. Which I do not understand why I do that. I mean, my life isn’t perfect, my mom is not supportive and is barley a parent. And I make that my excuse for myself to be sad. I don’t know what else to say, I don’t know why I want to be sad, or why I act the way I do. I just want to know what is wrong with me.
You are saying contradictory things. Your question asks why you want to be depressed, but then you explain that you don’t want to be. This contradiction highlights the conflict between your feelings and your reaction to them. If you wanted to be depressed, there would be no conflict.
The conflict is important to honor as it distinguishes you from the symptoms of depression you are having. YOU don’t want to be sad, but find yourself feeling depressed. This is a different. You are looking for relief from the depression. To accomplish this I’d focus on finding a therapist or psychiatrist to help find the best ways. The ‘Find Help’ tab at the top of this page will help you find someone in your area.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Why Do I Want to Feel Depressed?. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 26, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/03/17/why-do-i-want-to-feel-depressed/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.