I am very, very glad you wrote. You and your boyfriend are both in a serious negative relationship dance that is hurting you both. It’s only a matter of time before you explode apart. My question to you is this: Do you two want to take charge of what is happening or do you want to wait for the inevitable explosion?
I applaud your efforts with the workbook and meditation. I’m sure both are helpful to you personally. But the problems you are describing are with your relationship; your interactions with each other.
It takes two for someone (like you) to be lying, passive aggressive, and unable to respond. It takes two (for your boyfriend) to be blaming someone else for his stress and pain. Those are behaviors people do with/against someone else.
If you and your boyfriend want to save this relationship, please make an appointment with a couple counselor. You have already done what you can do on your own. The two of you need to be involved to fix this.
I wish you well.