I Don’t Know What’s Wrong with Me
I don’t even know where to begin. I have taken quizzes and seem to be a candidate for multiple issues. Maybe I am just crazy? My moods fluctuate from normal, to withdrawn/depressed, to excited, to crying, to screaming mad and scary irritable. This fluctuation doesn’t happen in any particular order nor does each mood last for any particular length of time, but they are extreme and they are sudden. When I get angry, most of the time I can’t even remember what set me off. When I break down into tears usually its not justified and I was bubbly and happy just before the crying started.
I don’t even know how to approach a physician about this. I sound scatter-brained and clueless. I sound like an idiot that just wants something to be wrong with them, but if I don’t figure out how to stop the swings in mood/emotions, I am going to lose one of the most important people in my life who unfortunately catches the brunt of the negative episodes.
Just before I hit puberty, I used to cry all the time for no reason at all, but after a while it seemed to stop. Then I was this happy, energetic, bubbly person.
Now in my late 20’s I have no idea what kind of person I will wake up as, what kind of person I will be at lunch, or what kind of person I will be at bedtime. I am exhausted from being such a roller coaster and then feeling guilt and shame after I have made a fool of myself to the people that love me.
The most stupid things seem to bother me and my shifts in mood never seem to be justified. I also have always had the habit of asking everyone, “Are you mad at me?” or “What’s wrong?” I’m not sure why.
It irritates me when people touch my things or my shoulder. I can’t stand to be rushed. I oversleep almost every day. I procrastinate like no one else I know. I cry ALOT. I feel alone and helpless at times and angry to no end at times. I am EVIL when I am woken. I also have times where I am excited about everything and ramble non-stop with a big smile.
I wasn’t always this way. What is wrong with me, or am I just crazy?
A: I have come to hate the word “crazy.” It minimizes very real distress. So, no. I don’t think you are “crazy.” I do think you have a genuine problem and that you deserve help.
I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of so little information. However, what you are reporting may be consistent with rapid cycling bi-polar disorder. Or there may be more (or less) to it than that. For that reason, you need to go see someone who can get to know you and who can take the time to get needed details.
Please stop taking quizzes and go see a mental health professional who can help you get to the bottom of this. Take your letter with you to the first session. You wrote a helpful summary of your feelings. Reading it will help direct a professional’s questions. Together, you will identify options for treatment.
You took an important first step in writing to us here at PsychCentral. Please take care of yourself and take the next step. You can locate a therapist by clicking on the “Find Help” tab on our homepage.
I wish you well.
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2016). I Don’t Know What’s Wrong with Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 20, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/03/05/i-dont-know-whats-wrong-with-me-8/