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Intense Need for Getting Taken Care Of

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From the U.S.: I recently got a job at a local hospital, which is a field far beyond what I have ever done, and it made me realize that I long for someone to just be there for me and take care of me. It goes beyond being pampered or not wanting to do anything. It’s an intense need to know that someone can take care of me.

I have both Bipolar I and ADHD, which have had me hospitalized several times, but I miss having people to care for me. I suffer from tremendous lack of self-confidence, which often leads to me making mistakes. I am ditsy; I am depressed most of the time, and I am extremely self-vigilant. Those factors could contribute, but I feel it’s something more. I find myself struggling to get through some days, because of this need.

I used to be a cutter, and I have actually considered starting again, just so people can realize that I need to be taken care of. I have considered attempting suicide, just enough to where I would still live, so that I would be in a hospital getting taken care of. This issue has stressed me out to no end, but I can’t get myself to tell my therapist about it, because I’m embarrassed. Why am I so infatuated with getting taken care of?

Intense Need for Getting Taken Care Of

Answered by on -


Your therapist is the person in the best position to help you. He or she knows you well and can provide the support and guidance you need. But a therapist only has what you share to go on. You are depriving yourself of your therapist’s best efforts by withholding such important information.

Please put your embarrassment aside. Consider showing your letter and this response to your therapist as a way to ease into the conversation. A therapist’s job is not to judge but to help. My guess is that, once you open up, pieces of the puzzle of your distress will immediately start to fall into place. It’s very possible that the conversation will begin a new and important chapter in your healing.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Intense Need for Getting Taken Care Of

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Intense Need for Getting Taken Care Of. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 7, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 28 Feb 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.