I have a terrible fear of going insane. I feel as though im slipping into madness everyday. My worst fear is to become schizo. I started having anxiety when my girlfriend (soon to be wife) got pregnant while we were in high school. I finally broke down and asked my mom for help and we went and seen a psychologist. He told me all i had was anxiety and no disorder. I have noticed that I obsess with things. When i was younger i use to have a fear of hiv/aids. (i was not educated on it very well is why i figure i had a fear of it). I have noticed i obsess with 1 topic for a few months then once i start getting anxiety again from life i swap subjects maybe for a relief of some kind? (For instance for a few months ill be really into fishing and want to know all the best stuff then ill swap to trucks and ect.) This causes me no distress really. My distress comes from when i start getting scared im going schizo. This is the only mental illness that i really obsess over. There is no mental in my family except my mom which has depression. I obsess over it so much ill think i hear voices. It says what im feeling deep down like the one of the times i was thinking about a dirtbike and was obsessing over the parts and what id do to it kind of zoning everything out. Then my own voice when i was very concentrated on thinking about it while walking at work poped in my head almost like instant words said “can you even ride good”. This scared me and cause alot of anxiety and still does when i think about it. I Knew it was my innervoice but i felt like i lost control and my mind blurted out without me doing it. Ive never had a person that wasn’t there speaking to me, or hear whispers. Just that i feel like i get so zoned out in something else that i mistake my subconscious thinking into hearing voice. (My own voice not someone elses. I dont feel like thoughts are being placed in my head or supernatural stuff). This has only happened once or twice when im really obsessing over something.Fear of Going Insane
Fear of Going Insane
Maybe the psychologist meant that you don’t have schizophrenia, but perhaps you have an anxiety disorder. The fact that you had an objective, trained professional assess your symptoms and determine that anxiety is the problem, and not schizophrenia, should help to decrease your anxiety.
Many people with health-related anxieties, tend to worry about developing schizophrenia. It may be because they perceive schizophrenia as being the worst or the most frightening mental health disorder. Thus, the catastrophizing tendencies of people with health-specific anxieties lead them to worry about the development of schizophrenia.
You might be interested to know that fears about developing schizophrenia, among people with health-related anxieties, is one of the most common inquiries that I receive at Psych Central. It seems to be a common fear.
The refusal to believe in reality, is primarily how anxiety flourishes. A trained professional determined that you do not have schizophrenia but it did not seem to ease your fears. Anxiety thrives when you continue to believe in things that are irrational, unlikely or have little to no probability of occurring.
You should return to the psychologist for treatment. Anxiety is a highly treatable disorder. If you commit to treatment and are willing to do the work necessary to overcome this problem, you can reduce or eliminate your anxiety. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle