A: Your boyfriend may be able to “put up with” this pattern of jealousy and insecurity now, but I can almost guarantee you that, if it continues, he will eventually grow tired and move on. Trust is very important in a relationship and if you don’t have it, it’s hard to move forward and grow as a couple. However, even more importantly, not only are you hurting your relationship, you are just hurting, period. Living this way is not living.
It is time to face the demons of your past and get some help. You list several ways in which you experienced trauma as a child and you are still carrying the wounds. You were molested, your sister verbally abused you, and you’ve had self-esteem and body image issues since you were very young. These issues are not going to go away on their own. I would suggest that you find a therapist who can help you heal from the past and develop the self-confidence that eludes you. Meanwhile, lean on your boyfriend for support and encouragement, don’t use him as a punching bag.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts