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Home » Ask the Therapist » Friend Told Me He Was Going to Kill Another Friend & if I Told I’d Be Killed Too

Friend Told Me He Was Going to Kill Another Friend & if I Told I’d Be Killed Too

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I have a friend (let’s call him A) who usually talks big but eventually doesn’t do much. He got into a fight with his girlfriend because she was being overly friendly with another guy, who I’ll refer to as B (she tends to be too friendly with guys). And since I’m the one he speaks to the most, he comes to me and starts talking about his “wrath” and “uncontrollable anger” and, honestly, I didn’t think he’d do much but I kept B away from him just in case.

Ever since A broke up with his girlfriend he’s been talking to me in a rather depressed kind of way.┬áBut recently, A saw B at a convention and things got more serious apparently. A told me he was going to kill someone. He swore he’d do it. He said he would do it for his own sanity. So obviously I try to talk him out of it and tell him it won’t give him any gain and he’ll regret it and things, but he tells me that he isn’t going to regret it, and that he’s doing it to regain his dignity that he lost when B humiliated him. Personally, here i started feeling extremely uncomfortable, I mean someone is telling you they’ll kill someone and won’t regret it. When I asked him to put his feelings into words he said it’s like when someone knows right from wrong, but doesn’t care which one is which, and only bows to his anger and twisted pleasure, would happily destroy anyone or anything for personal pleasure.

So then I tell him that I don’t even care what he does as long as it doesn’t involve me (which isn’t true, but I thought if he’s just saying this to look badass or something he’ll drop it if I don’t show interest) then after some talk he says to me that if i tell anyone about this he’s coming after me as well…

If possible, please tell me how to TALK him out of this, because i doubt authorities can do much where I live, his father holds a high position in court and if I turn him in and he somehow gets out, I may be in trouble, and this is seriously holding me from sleeping. Thank you for reading.

Friend Told Me He Was Going to Kill Another Friend & if I Told I’d Be Killed Too

Answered by on -

A.

The parameters that you have placed on this situation make it nearly impossible to affect change. Essentially, you have concluded that you’re the only person who can stop your friend from murder. I don’t see it that way.

This problem is beyond you. This is a problem for the police. They are trained to handle these types of situations. You should immediately alert them.

You said that your friend likes to talk big. When people have been hurt, as your friend has, they often say things they don’t really mean. If you think that his words are serious, then you should try to prevent the murder.

If you feel as though you can’t go directly to the police, then alert them anonymously. Anonymous tips are a common way police receive intelligence.

Finally, you should also speak to your parents. They can provide you with moral support and protection. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Friend Told Me He Was Going to Kill Another Friend & if I Told I’d Be Killed Too

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Friend Told Me He Was Going to Kill Another Friend & if I Told I’d Be Killed Too. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/02/13/friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-kill-another-friend-if-i-told-id-be-killed-too/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 13 Feb 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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