I am a 19 year old college going girl from India. One of my biggest problems in life is that I am an introvert and is very silent in public. I feel weird to interact with so many people at a time like in college, at office where I am working as an intern, at parties, social gatherings and even with my neighbours and relatives at times. People offen as me the question “why are you so silent?” and stuff like that. I feel even more awkward and embarrassed when I am asked such questions.
I wish I could talk easily like others but how hard I try, in the end nothing changes. I feel comfortable speaking not much and this characteristic is natural in me. As a kid I was quite talkative; this problem started when I was 9 years old and I still wonder why my personality changed all of a sudden. When I was 9 years old, I changed my school but that was not a big deal for me; in fact I was very much excited to go to my new school. But after few days all of a sudden people began to as me why I was so silent all the time. When too many people started asking, I noticed that my personality has changed! But I couldn’t do anything because by that time I found it comfortable to talk less and I struggled to socialize with others. Now 10 years passed by , still I struggle to interact with others unlike normal people. Its really a big disaster for me and I really am fed up of this characteristic of mine, at the same time I am not able to change it even after lots of struggles. Please tell me what I should do now. Thank you.
What you might be describing is social phobia. People with social phobias experience a heightened state of anxiety when anticipating social situations.
One reason why you might have social phobia is because you fear negative evaluation. Perhaps your self image is negative and you think that other people will also see you that way. Low self-confidence is often a characteristic of persons with social phobia.
The most efficient way to overcome a fear is to face it head on, to essentially do the thing that frightens you the most. If you continually engage in the behavior that frightens you, it will eventually no longer frighten you. It would be an uncomfortable and unpleasant process because nobody likes to feel anxious but facing your fears is the most effective method of overcoming them.
Therapy could help treat this problem. Social anxiety is relatively common and easily treated with psychotherapy and, in some cases, medication. You might also try reading self-help books about social anxiety. They might provide practical ideas that you can try on your own. I hope those ideas are helpful. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Problem Socializing with Others
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
APA Reference Randle, K. (2018). Problem Socializing with Others. Psych Central.
Retrieved on July 16, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/02/12/problem-socializing-with-others/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.