Your upcoming meeting with a specialist in anxiety sounds like the very best idea. As you noted, you have had anxiety all of your life. It’s apparently never effectively been dealt with. Even though it lessened for a time, it never fully went away.
If I were your therapist, I would inquire about your life circumstances during the time in which your anxiety decreased and about your life circumstances now that your anxiety has increased. That information might help me to better understand what is causing your anxiety.
Your concern about developing schizophrenia is not uncommon among people who have health-specific anxieties. Schizophrenia tends to be the mental health disorder they fear the most. Some people perceive it as being the worst or the most frightening of all mental health disorders.
Regarding the hypnagogic hallucination, those are relatively common on the verge of sleep. It may be a normal experience or it could indicate a potential sleep disorder. You should report this symptom to your therapist upon your first meeting. He or she could provide you with a referral for a medical evaluation, if deemed appropriate.
Based upon the information you have provided, it seems unlikely that you have schizophrenia. Only a mental health professional, who interviewed you in person, could know that with certainty but your symptoms seem more characteristic of anxiety than they do of schizophrenia.
It’s encouraging that you are planning to undergo treatment. Your symptoms are highly treatable. With the right assistance, perhaps the right medication and a commitment to treatment, you should expect positive results. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle