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Home » Ask the Therapist » I’ve Been Raised Like Rapunzel: Grounded Since Birth

I’ve Been Raised Like Rapunzel: Grounded Since Birth

Asked by on with 1 answer:

My overprotective dad doesn’t allow me to go outside my home alone, never did in all these 18 years (my age). I’m dropped to school and back home by my dad in his car. Other than school, I’m taken out very rarely.

Since about a year and a half, I don’t have school because I asked for an arrangement where I just have to go to school one week at the end of the year to give exams and that’ll be equivalent to clearing 11th and 12th grade at once. Now I’m at home for weeks at a stretch.

Since about 12 years, my dad also physically (beats/slaps) and emotionally abuses my stepmom. As a child I wasn’t very affected but now I’m growing very intolerant. Staying at home more than earlier increases exposure to this. I wasn’t abused, just physically punished up to age 14.

Moving out is the simplest solution to avoid all this. I believe I can manipulate my dad into allowing me to do this, even though he doesn’t allow me to get out of the home.

What damage will it have on my brain development if I can’t move out? What if there is no exposure to abuse (just the effects of not getting out)?

I’ve Been Raised Like Rapunzel: Grounded Since Birth

Answered by on -

A.

I’m not familiar with any research regarding brain impairment among people who live with their parents. To know with certainty, you would have to consult a neurologist or a brain science researcher. There is research regarding brain impairment/damage among people who have been abused as children, but I don’t think that is what you are asking.

At 18 years old, you are an adult. You should have more freedom than you do. If you feel as though you’re ready to move out, then you should. If you’re not ready, then stay until you are ready, but in the meantime you should be attempting to become more independent. Independence is important for your psychological and emotional development. You should be developing your own identity apart from your parents.

I’m also wondering about college. Are you planning to attend? That might be your opportunity to gain some independence from your parents.

Ideally, therapy would benefit you greatly. Family therapy could also be useful, if your family would be willing to participate. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

I’ve Been Raised Like Rapunzel: Grounded Since Birth

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). I’ve Been Raised Like Rapunzel: Grounded Since Birth. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 11, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/02/06/ive-been-raised-like-rapunzel-grounded-since-birth/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.