Whenever I walk outside or am in any public place, I can’t help but feel as though everyone standing around me is out to get me, I feel as though the only safe place for me to be in is my home and have been less involved in things that used to make me happy such as judo and hanging out with my friends. However, if i do happen to be with a friend I am immediately not scared anymore. When I am alone at home, I often feel as though I see things such as people or animals and then turn back to realize that nothing is there or it is just an object folded in a weird fashion. Whenever I see these things my mind seems to flash on certain objects, spaces or thoughts and I begin to tremble. I no longer laugh or smile as often as I used to and my school grades have been getting lower and lower. I don’t know why this happens but I really want to know what is happening to me, as it is seriously affecting my social life. (From Germany)I Am Afraid of Myself and What Might Happen in the Future
I Am Afraid of Myself and What Might Happen in the Future
I am sorry you are having such difficulty. However, there are several things that are happening that lead me to believe this may just be a transition time for you. First, the fact that you change when your friends are around means that whatever is happening is affected by your surroundings. This is good news because it means you can create situations in which you feel safe.
Secondly, you list your age as 13 and this is often a time of great physical transformation. Give yourself some time to adjust to your independence — and learn more about who you are and about becoming yourself.