I catch myself fantasizing about ways to hurt someone who hurt me. Who betrayed me. My cousin slept with my fiance, I trusted my married cousin I thought cousin had more respect. But I was fooled this has been almost 4 yrs ago and I am still angry. Why do I fantasize about this?Fantasizing
Thanks for your email. Betrayal is one of the core elements we react to as human beings. This is because the first instinct is to learn who we can trust. Once a trust has been ruptured we respond in ways similar to a trauma and do everything we can to avoid getting hurt like that again. Sometimes that strategy includes retaliation — a way to keep the predator from hurting us again. My guess is that the fantasy is coming from this place inside you. The fantasies are natural — of course, what isn’t okay is any plan to actual carry out harm.