Home » Ask the Therapist » BPD Is Ruining My Relationship

BPD Is Ruining My Relationship

Asked by on with 1 answer:

From Antigua: Hey, at a point I started to feel that I was loosing it. I have BPD and it is ruining my relationship with the people I love. It already ruined my relationship with my boyfriend and there is nothing I can do to fix it. Right now I just want to focus and practice loving me and accepting who I am.

My break-up was very hard for me to under go. I’ve been starving myself, feeling very guilty or my actions and about not being able to fix things with him. He knows I have BPD but I never thought that I really needed help, he always insisted. Well, It wasn’t until I burst all the windows out his car because he wouldn’t get back with me, I regret doing it and well now I realized that I need help.

Help! Where do I start? What must I do? I don’t to continue ruining all my other relationships with family and friends as well. My ex says that he just wants me to get therapy, to get help. And that he’ll always be there for me but that right now I need to really make my mental health my main priority.


BPD Is Ruining My Relationship

Answered by on -


As you have already discovered, starving yourself and feeling guilty aren’t making things better. But you’ve taken the first couple of steps on the journey toward mental health. The first step to healing is to recognize there is a problem. The second step is the willingness to get needed help.

Fortunately, there is a well-researched, effective treatment for BPD. It’s called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Created by therapist Marsha Linehan, it has helped thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, of people with BPD as well as the people who support them.

DBT is a structured approach that helps people learn cognitive and emotional regulation, things you’ve already discovered you desperately need. By learning how to manage your emotions and destructive thoughts, you will have less stress in your life and your relationships will improve.

There are well-trained DBT therapists all over the world. Ask your doctor for a referral or go online to find one.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

BPD Is Ruining My Relationship

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). BPD Is Ruining My Relationship. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 5, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 23 Jan 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.