As you have already discovered, starving yourself and feeling guilty aren’t making things better. But you’ve taken the first couple of steps on the journey toward mental health. The first step to healing is to recognize there is a problem. The second step is the willingness to get needed help.
Fortunately, there is a well-researched, effective treatment for BPD. It’s called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Created by therapist Marsha Linehan, it has helped thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, of people with BPD as well as the people who support them.
DBT is a structured approach that helps people learn cognitive and emotional regulation, things you’ve already discovered you desperately need. By learning how to manage your emotions and destructive thoughts, you will have less stress in your life and your relationships will improve.
There are well-trained DBT therapists all over the world. Ask your doctor for a referral or go online to find one.
I wish you well.