As me been raised in Muslim country with a horrible family that they finally kinda accept me as an atheist, I always felt so lost and lonely I never told my family that am a (lesbian) or the fact that I lost my virginity 3 years ago, they will definitely kill me, whatever I tried to kill myself, I hate myself. I feel like am a hypocrite who pretends to be someone else. Whatever lead me to here I am being blackmailed by a guy I had sex with couple days ago to feel like a straight one. So now I am (lesbian, hypocrite, alone, slut who slept with a guy she never knew) and definitely ashamed and don’t know what to do or who to talk with it just like my life reach the end literally. (From Sudan)I Feel Lost, I Can’t Keep My Pants on (I Feel Slutty) and Lonely
I Feel Lost, I Can’t Keep My Pants on (I Feel Slutty) and Lonely
From your background information you say that you are a first year college student. I would go to the counseling center there because they are trained to work with students who are struggling with their transitions and identity. See them sooner rather than later because you do not need to be in this much pain. They can help you sort through this.