Thank you for writing in with your question. It can be very difficult watching people you love being mistreated and feeling that there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m sorry that this is the case for you. However, you are an adult now and it is time for you to begin living your own life.
It sounds like you are a hard worker and have had success in your career, perhaps you can draw upon these skills and talents to help you expand your life in other ways. You can improve your social skills and begin to form meaningful relationships outside of your family. The only way to build confidence is to practice. The only way to feel comfortable around people is to be around them.
It may be helpful to start small. Go to lunch with only one or two coworkers at a time, or make sure to walk out of work at the same time someone else does and strike up a conversation while you walk. Sometimes it helps to make friends in new situations so there is no pressure, such as a coffee shop or by taking a class pertaining to a hobby or interest. You could also benefit from speaking with a therapist or counselor because it sounds like your concerns may have led to some depression.
As sad as it is, you cannot fix your parents’ relationship, but you can learn from theirs in order to have a healthy one yourself. And, you can show your mother respect by having a full and happy life and giving her a safe, happy place to spend time once you have your own home and family. Rather than spending your time worrying about her, spend it making her proud of you.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts