I have a big problem with my fiance, we loved each other 6 years ago, we were studying at the same university and we got engaged 4 months ago, i don’t know what actually changed. he suddenly discovered that we are not compatible on the intellectual level and that i don’t have enough self-confident and that i am useless in this life, he just keep on criticizing me, i am fed up, and i start to lose my self-confidence. i don’t have any problem in developing myself i want to be a better person successful in my life, he should give me some positive energy and help me to be better instead of just criticizing all the time. he is successful person he wants everything perfect and i am not this perfect person! i tried to convince him that Love makes a family, his answer was, thoughts as well makes family. he don’t believe in me and my thoughts. Help me please pleaseee (age 23, from Egypt)Relationship Problem
I agree that he should support you rather than criticize you. As unfortunate and painful as his change of attitude has been for you, at least you see his true colors before marrying him. If he treats you this way now, it is unlikely that it will get better with time. I would suggest that you start becoming a “better person” by breaking up with him and taking your power back. You are still young and have plenty of time to find someone who loves and respects you. As you say, no one is perfect, we all have flaws. But we can find someone that we are compatible with who makes us feel better about ourselves when we are with them. Go find that person instead of figuring out how to please your fiancé. And yes, love is very important in an intimate relationship, but it is not enough.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts