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Relationship Problem

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I have a big problem with my fiance, we loved each other 6 years ago, we were studying at the same university and we got engaged 4 months ago, i don’t know what actually changed. he suddenly discovered that we are not compatible on the intellectual level and that i don’t have enough self-confident and that i am useless in this life, he just keep on criticizing me, i am fed up, and i start to lose my self-confidence. i don’t have any problem in developing myself i want to be a better person successful in my life, he should give me some positive energy and help me to be better instead of just criticizing all the time.  he is successful person he wants everything perfect and i am not this perfect person!  i tried to convince him that Love makes a family, his answer was, thoughts as well makes family. he don’t believe in me and my thoughts.  Help me please pleaseee (age 23, from Egypt)

Relationship Problem

Answered by on -

A.

I agree that he should support you rather than criticize you.  As unfortunate and painful as his change of attitude has been for you, at least you see his true colors before marrying him.  If he treats you this way now, it is unlikely that it will get better with time. I would suggest that you start becoming a “better person” by breaking up with him and taking your power back.  You are still young and have plenty of time to find someone who loves and respects you.  As you say, no one is perfect, we all have flaws. But we can find someone that we are compatible with who makes us feel better about ourselves when we are with them. Go find that person instead of figuring out how to please your fiancé. And yes, love is very important in an intimate relationship, but it is not enough.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

 

Relationship Problem

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). Relationship Problem. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2016/01/08/relationship-problem-2/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.