The thought process you have described is concerning. It’s distorted and laced with hate for humankind and potential hallucinations. You actively hate people and also believe that you are being directed by a being or a voice. These symptoms indicate that something is wrong.
It’s a mistake to withhold your symptoms from your parents. They should know what’s wrong. If they knew, perhaps they could assist you in consulting a mental health professional. A mental health professional could evaluate your symptoms, determine the problem and develop a treatment plan.
It’s imperative that you tell your parents about your concerns. Ask them to take you to a mental health professional. A mental health professional will assist you in correcting your thinking. Medication has the potential to eliminate the voice that is causing you so much distress.
Your symptoms require treatment. I urge you to seek help immediately. If you feel as though you cannot control your behavior, contact the authorities or go to the hospital. They will protect you from hurting yourself or from hurting others. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle