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Ex Girlfriend Is Acting Out of Character

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My ex girlfriend and I were together 3 years, We broke up around August, I believe that she is not handling it well, having been in 3 relationships since, all women, and she now says she is gay, but is going overboard in trying to prove it. She told me that she was with this new girl to “prove the world wrong.” She has maintained contact with not only me, but my family as well. I am deeply concerned for her welfare, but do not want to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. My ex is a very lonely woman and is willing to move to another country with this woman that she has only known a couple of weeks. My gut is saying something is off but I wanted a professional opinion. Thank You.

Ex Girlfriend Is Acting Out of Character

Answered by on -


There might be something wrong with your ex, but your power to affect change in her life is limited. You can and should express your concerns to her. You can suggest that she seek help. You could try speaking to her family and expressing your concerns about her to them and they might be able to intervene. Perhaps her friends and family could attempt an intervention to convince her to seek help.

With any luck, she’ll be open to your suggestions or to the suggestions of others and decide to seek help. If she chooses not to take anyone’s advice, unless she’s a danger to herself or others or unless she is breaking the law, she has the right to live her life any way she chooses. She has a right to do whatever she wants even if it means moving to other countries, having bad relationships, and so forth.

It’s difficult to watch people we care about make bad decisions. We can try to intervene and offer our advice, but ultimately there’s only so much we can do. You can try the aforementioned ideas. Those suggestions might help. Beyond that, there’s nothing else you can do. You can’t force her to seek help. She has to want to seek that help on her own. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Ex Girlfriend Is Acting Out of Character

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Ex Girlfriend Is Acting Out of Character. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 24, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 2 Jan 2016)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.