From India: Hello. I am just a normal girl who happens to see a movie about a certain actor approximately 10 years from now. My father and i have always shared a loving and fulfilling relationship but my mother is not mentally healthy, so sometimes i feel like there’s a gap that needs to be filled within my heart. What started as a very innocent crush like feeling ended up being my worst nightmare. Obsession.
When i first realized that i was unhealthily attached to this actor, I was about 15-16 and i thought that this was “one of those crushes” and brushed them off. But as i got older, the “fantasy” of being wanted,loved,being the centre of his universe, being his wife, and of course the sexual intimacy i wanted to share with this person got heavy and started to interfere in my real life relationships too. When i tried explaining about this issue to my close ones,they too brushed it off thinking that i was just fan-girling. Well, I’m not just “fan-girling”. I have fantasies about this person everyday and i can’t picture myself with anyone apart from him. I have delusions that he and i are somehow “connected” or we’re soul mates and stuff.
I really want to get over this actor. I do not blame this actor for anything cause i know that it’s not his fault. He recently got into a relationship which made things even worse. When he was single, I never really cared about what he was doing but as soon as he got into a relationship with a non-celeb girl, I thought that maybe i missed my chance.
I never in a million years have hurted him in any way or even his girlfriends. i never try to get his number or get his mail id or anything but i do follow him on social media. But an hour ago, i cut off all the connections i have on social media with this actor and i unfollowed him every where. I guess only life was even more easy if i could i just “un-follow’ him in real life too. When i sleep,i dream of him every night and when i wake up, I miss him. i sometimes think that i can never love someone “this” passionately and deeply like i love this actor. He is 8 years elder to me.I sometimes day dream about him.
This obsession has got to the point that, I am saving myself for him.I feel like no one deserves to be with me apart from him. I don’t know if this is love or “way out of hand” kind of solution. I really really need help to get over this person and start my life fresh and enjoy all aspects of my life whole-heartedly. I really really need help.