From Canada: I’ve thought for a while now I might have OCD, but I never wanted to tell anyone in case I was wrong, and anyway we really can’t afford therapy. But I’ve spent nearly all of my time when I should be doing other work researching OCD symptoms and reading the same articles on OCD over and over again. I’ve spent hours almost daily just going through all of these and monitoring all my behavior to see how much of it matches up with the symptoms. Tonight I should have been studying, but instead I just spent three hours researching OCD, and I do this all the time but rationalize it by telling myself it’s okay because I still get good grades.
I’ve always been a bit of a control freak (I have to plan everything myself, and when people do things like cancel plans on me I don’t handle it very well) but the reason I thought I might have OCD is because I have some thoughts, mostly about sexual acts with family members that I can block out, but it happens all the time. I also have a problem when something goes wrong I spend at least an hour thinking about or acting out in my head all the ways I could have done something differently to fix or prevent whatever happened – I even do this for things that haven’t actually happened. Like, I’ll think about what could happen if my friend or a stranger got shot, and then think about all the ways I could prevent it or save their life.
I just want to know if any of these things are actual OCD symptoms or if I’m just paranoid.