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I Think Something May Be Wrong with Me

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I’ve always had problems with self-esteem, my weight, just me as a person in general. I grew up with only my mother and the times i spent with my father didn’t go well. He was abusive and strict and where i am from, there are no laws against beating children so there was nothing i could do to help myself. My mother had no problem with the way my father treated me because to her “he must have done it for a good reason” and she is very strict too (i wasn’t allowed outside, no friends over, nothing but school work, etc).

I started self harm at 15. I’ve been baker acted twice (self harm and overdose), i have been sexually abused from ages 10 to 14 by several people. i think these things might have some lasting effects.

I realize i almost never smile or laugh anymore, i started shutting myself in my room, i no longer want to go to school, i don’t want to interact with anyone at all, i have no friends neither did i try to make any, my grades have plummeted, i find it hard to remember anything from my past (aside from flashbacks), i despise physical contact (it takes a lot out of me to hug or shake hands with anyone), i have instances where, for example, i would remember waking up and eating breakfast and watching a movie but then i find myself sitting by the pool watching the sun set with no idea how i got there, i think I’m hearing voices, I’m seeing things that aren’t there, when I’m alone i start talking to myself and i find it hard to stop, i have become very obsessive about losing weight and even started throwing up after eating sometimes starving myself, i feel… detached sometimes like I’m not in control of what i am doing, severe mood swings, aggressive thoughts, increased paranoia, i catch myself speaking really fast or muttering incoherent things too.

I highly doubt these things are normal and everyone I have tried to talk to says it’s all in my head. I have tried speaking to my mother but she doesn’t believe me, my therapist is a waste of my mother’s money. I need to know what is going on with me… if something is really wrong or t is all just in my head.

I Think Something May Be Wrong with Me

Answered by on -

A.

Thank you for having the courage to write this letter. I’m sorry your parents didn’t do a better job and making things safe and protecting you. No one should’ve been treated the way you were. It is time for real change.

Since so much is going on I would highly recommend contacting the local women’s center. Here is thecontact for one in your area. They can get you connected to a counselor who can make a difference.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Think Something May Be Wrong with Me

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Think Something May Be Wrong with Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 16, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/12/26/i-think-something-may-be-wrong-with-me/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.