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Does My Boyfriend Have BPD or Am I Just Overly Sensitive?

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My boyfriend overreacts over the smallest things. For example, I was with my uncle for lunch and a few errands. He called me 4 times while I was with him and finally I told him that I would call him after we got done eating. I ended up not calling until I took my uncle back home because I didn’t think it was that big of a deal for me not to call my boyfriend for another 25 minutes. During the time that I was driving my uncle home, he texted me 6 times, hurtful things. Another example, when he got home the other night I was sitting in the kitchen looking on my phone and he got insanely mad the second he saw me. He said that I didnt care and I would be better off with someone else because I was on my phone! Every morning when we get up, he sits on the toliet (TMI I know) and plays on his phone for about 45 minutes. He thinks that is okay, as do I, but I can’t play on my phone. PLEASE HELP ME! He only sees my flaws and holds me to them every single day but when he makes the same mistakes, I have to get over them. Any help would be great.

Does My Boyfriend Have BPD or Am I Just Overly Sensitive?

Answered by on -

A.

Your boyfriends insecurity, jealousy, and anger and to be part of a pattern that often gets worse without professional help. The frantic texting and jealousy typically evolve into more controlling behavior. I would stand my ground if I were you. Be very clear about your boundaries. He will no doubt be angry, but at least you won’t lose yourself in the relationship.

I recommend you contact the local woman’s center in your county. They often have counselors who can speak with you individually about what you’re going through with your boyfriend.

As far as your boyfriend is concerned let him know his behavior is unacceptable. Couple counseling would be good, but in the long run your boyfriend is likely to need some therapy understand the root of his jealous and controlling behavior. Regardless of what the diagnosis is for him, BPD or otherwise, you want to be very clear that you will not accept his behavior.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Does My Boyfriend Have BPD or Am I Just Overly Sensitive?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Does My Boyfriend Have BPD or Am I Just Overly Sensitive?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 26, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/12/21/does-my-boyfriend-have-bpd-or-am-i-just-overly-sensitive/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.