You may be describing obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). People with OCD struggle with making decisions. At its core, OCD is about anxiety, caused by fear. People with OCD engage in rituals in response to fear. These rituals, in the short-term, make people feel less fear, but in the long-term it only makes things worse. Untreated OCD symptoms beget more symptoms. Without treatment, it can be a vicious cycle.
My recommendation is to be evaluated by a mental health professional. If a disorder is present, treatment will be recommended. Most anxiety disorders are successfully treated with psychotherapy and or medication.
Anxiety symptoms suggest that something is wrong, that the way you think about the world could be wrong. This can be corrected with therapy. You and your therapist will analyze your thinking, determine its correctness and modify it to be in line with reality. That’s the essence of cognitive behavioral therapy, which in studies has been shown to be effective for anxiety disorders. I hope that you will consider therapy. It could improve the quality of your life. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle