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I Have Trouble with Conversation

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From a 15 year old in the U.S.: when someone is telling me about something even when I’m genuinely interested I often can’t think of anything to respond with and it doesn’t naturally come to mind. When I finally do come up with something to say the opportunity to say it has passed and what i have to say has become irrelevant to the conversation leaving me to either awkwardly add it in or be silent for most of the conversation When I am just sitting with someone who I want to talk to I have a lack of thoughts and can just sit there trying to think of something to talk about but come up with nothing. How do I come up with things to say quick enough to have a conversation?

I Have Trouble with Conversation

Answered by on -


It may be that you are so worried about saying the right thing that it gets in the way of saying anything at all. Please remind yourself that you don’t have to have perfect comments in order to participate.

When in doubt, ask a question or encourage the other person to expand on what they’ve already said. People usually respond positively to being asked for more information. Just say something like, “That’s really interesting, Tell me more.” That’s often enough.

If you need a moment to think about what to say, it’s also fine to say something like, “Let me think about that for a few minutes. I want to give your ideas the thought they deserve.” That shows respect for the other person and also buys you some time to think.

The best conversationalists are known to be those who know how to show that they are listening. Questions do that as well as any earth-shattering comment or smart come-back.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Have Trouble with Conversation

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Have Trouble with Conversation. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.