It’s possible that you might be describing depersonalization-derealization disorder. Depersonalization is having the experience of unreality or detachment from one’s mind, self or body. Derealization is having the experience of unreality or detachment from one’s surroundings.
The average age of onset of depersonalization-derealization disorder is 16 years old. It is rare for it to occur after the age of 40. The exact cause is not clear, however, research suggests a strong correlation between the disorder and childhood trauma. Severe stress and illicit drug use are common precipitants of the disorder.
Alternatively, you could be having these experiences because of your depression and anxiety. As you noted, these problems have been plaguing you for years. It’s best to discuss your concerns with your therapist, who can collect more information about the potential problem and determine what’s wrong.
You have yet to discuss your concerns with your therapist, but you are making a mistake by waiting. He or she can’t help you if you don’t report what’s wrong. Now is the time. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle