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I Like Causing Others Emotional Pain

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From a 13 year old girl in the Netherlands: As you can read from the title, I like causing others emotional pain. Especially boys. I like stringing them along, making them think I like or love them, just to completely stop talking to them, or just to tell them that I don’t. Everytime I meet a guy I just think about If I could play with them the way I wanted to. To have them on their knees for me.

As you can also tell by the title, I like receiving physical pain. I think it’s totally great when someone punches me in the face, or just leaves bruises. I especially like the pain the day after. when the bruise is visable, and you don’t feel the direct pain anymore and just that faint pain, that you can still feel that you’ve been hit. It’s nice to me.

I think about a year ago I was diagnosed with depression. I am not depressed anymore, I am empty. I don’t have any feelings other than anger. I also feel very annoyed and bored all the time. And my family now thinks I’m insane. So I want to know, which personality disorder I might have? if I have one?

I Like Causing Others Emotional Pain

Answered by on -


I don’t think you are insane. But I do disagree with you. I think it’s highly likely that you are still depressed. It’s just taken another form.

Depression can show up as irritability, anger and emptiness instead of sadness. It may be that, for you, giving and receiving pain is better than not feeling anything at all.

Please ask your parents to take you to see a mental health counselor for evaluation. Once an assessment has been made, you and your parents will be given options for treatment. At 13, you have a lot of life to live. You deserve to get the treatment you need to get back to normal.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Like Causing Others Emotional Pain

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Like Causing Others Emotional Pain. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.