Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) could be a possibility. One of the main symptoms of OCD is having negative, repeated thoughts and images of a morbid, violent or sexual nature. Understandably, the content of your thoughts makes you worry, but that is the nature of the disorder.
A key element of OCD is that your obsessive thoughts are unwanted. They seem to be repulsive to you and you have a strong desire to eliminate them. They seem to be outside of your control, which further suggests that OCD may be the problem.
Having an anxiety disorder does not make you “insane.” Millions of people have anxiety disorders and benefit from treatment. Don’t let your fear of being seen as “insane” stop you from seeking help. If you’re willing to seek treatment, and are working with a competent therapist, you should expect a positive outcome. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle