I’ve been seeing a psychologist for something else and they feel that my husband has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. He’s financially very frugal, very rigid, thinks he’s right all the time and everyone else is wrong, isn’t social and very judgmental about others, corrects how I do things and is quick to anger. Unfortunately the only services available for someone in my situation is individual counseling charged at household income rates (even though I would attend on my own, he wouldn’t go) which requires large amounts of time off work (middle of the day appointments adding another 2 hours travel to an already 2.5 hour daily round commute or travel over several forms of transport) and no education or support groups or rebuilding after separation groups. I also wasn’t believed when I did go (I’ve tried 5 counselors over 3 accredited orgs) and advised I either needed 5 years of weekly apps, improve my communication (I use I language, feelings, facts, what I’d like to see happen and neutral language) or to discuss time out (my partner gets angry if I gently open up a discussion about how we can have more fun together) I also have no close enough friends to help me leave. And housing near good public transport is very expensive so it takes time to find.
So far from my reading I’ve gleaned don’t ask what it is if he seems agitated, don’t rush in to help, move away if I feel uncomfortable, don’t give up things for him, don’t ask him to anything (he always says no) insist on sticking to my choices i.e. skim milk coffee.
Hence I’m wondering if you could recommend a good book for me to read that is strategy based (rather than wanting to focus on childhood) and also goes into how to leave as safely as possible. (From Australia)