Your brother’s attraction to you is anything but normal. The fact that his fondest memories stem from having raped you suggests a high level of mental instability. Rape is not only immoral, but it’s a crime. In some states, if you reported his rape to the authorities, he could still be prosecuted.
You want to help your brother, but you are not a mental health professional. You can’t help him. He needs professional help. The best way to help him is to suggest that he seek professional help.
It’s also not your obligation to help your brother. He is an adult man. He is not intellectually disabled or otherwise incapable of helping himself. Having spent 20 years in prison means that he might have a parole or probation officer who can assist him in seeking professional help. Suggest that he contact his probation or parole officer for assistance. If he is unwilling to seek help, consider reporting his behavior to his probation or parole officer.
Finally, the tone of your letter suggests that you want to protect your brother but it’s important to put this problem in perspective. There’s nothing healthy about your brother’s behavior or his desires. You should do everything in your power to keep your distance. Call the authorities if he does not stop harassing you. Obviously you do not want your brother in legal trouble but his obsessive calling and texting is concerning and might even constitute stalking.
You have to do what is necessary to protect yourself from a person who has demonstrated his inability to control his impulses and who has a history of violence. Do not discount his past behavior just because he is your brother and you feel bad. Though there are exceptions, past behavior can be predictive of future behavior. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle