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Mother Doesn’t Communicate

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My mother is, and always has been, a very shy person. In public, she talks limitedly and as necessary. Around her family, she is somewhat more talkative but by no means chatty.
The problem is that I am dealing with personal issues in my life, and I would really like to have her input and support, and for her to communicate more with me. This lack of communication is causing many fights between us: basically, I try to talk with her about issues affecting me, and her replies are limited and not very helpful. Neither is she supportive, and rarely provides her opinion. It’s often a one-sided conversation with her. I have asked her to please try to improve her communication, so as to help me. But, while an argument might be temporarily resolved, the same communication problems resurface at later times–with each incidence causing the communication problem to snowball further.

Am I wrong to think that a mother should make the effort to help her daughter in this way? (I’ve always seen other mothers be overly chatty and helpful with their children, and go to great lengths to help them.)
By the way, she wouldn’t go to therapy.

Mother Doesn’t Communicate

Answered by on -


I wouldn’t keep going to the hardware store for a loaf of bread. Seek out some therapy at the school you are going to rather than hoping to change your mom. It is time for you to be more independent and to move away from your mother. Financial, emotional, and intellectual independence need to be your goals.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Mother Doesn’t Communicate

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Mother Doesn’t Communicate. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 19, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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