Hello, I really need help and I am glad I found your website. I’ll just pour it out. I am an Indian living in a small town in the Philippines, my family is the only foreigner in this town, so it’s pretty small. My parents are really strict and don’t like Filipinos and their lifestyles but I like it, they wont let me hangout with my friends ,they just make me sit at home, home to school and vice versa. They won’t let me hangout at night like just until 8 or 8:30 they think it is dangerous which is not, nothing ever happens in my town. When there are school talent shows ,which I love to watch they won’t let me because it is at night. They won’t even let me have a girlfriend because they think Filipinas are gold diggers which by the way most are not, I am not an eye-candy but I can get lucky if a girl likes me but the only thing stopping me is my parents, they’d disown me if I got a girlfriend,seriously.They are strict as hell. Because of this i missed out on hanging out on high school friends which was supposed to be my best year of my life but it was completely opposite.I have anger issues because of all that is mentioned above.My friends keep this in check but they won’t let me hangout or have a girlfriend, so my blood boils every time i am in the house. I feel like killing my self or killing them. It gets worse day by day and my parents don’t ever listen to what i have to say,they threaten me to shut me up, i have tried multiple times talking to them but no avail.They love me but they can’t understand what i am going through. I am in college with great grades,don’t drink, smoke or do anything bad. They think my friends are a bad influence which is not true,none of my friends do this.i am really open to suggestions, or maybe you can persuade them. P.S. about the girlfriend part they’ll literally kick me out of the house even if i mention it. We don’t have therapists in our town and school counselors don’t really do much, I need someone to tell my parents how serious my problem is. I feel like killing them or killing myself. (From Philippines)
It about time for you to plan your move out of your parents’ home. You are in college and it is time for you to plan to move out. It might take you some time — but if you are at this stage of development, it is time to take the next natural step.
Your parents made the decision to move to this country without thinking through your needs. What they don’t understand is that restricting you in the way that they have has very damaging effects. If they can’t understand your needs then it is time to move on. Plan to move out as you continue your studies. The school counselors might be very able to help you with that.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Parents Are Ruining My Life. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 25, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/11/13/my-parents-are-ruining-my-life-2/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.