I can’t provide a diagnosis over the Internet but anytime someone is considering self-harm or suicide, it’s serious. Depression might be the cause of your problems or it could be, as you indicated, your feeling pressure to live up to certain perceived expectations.
Even though they did not respond as they should have, it was wise to speak to your parents. Consider showing them this letter as a demonstration of your seriousness. If they know that you are continuing to reach out for help, it might motivate them to act.
If that does not work, then speak to the school guidance counselor or another school faculty member whom you trust. Inform them about how you feel and ask for their assistance. Someone at your school should be able to help.
I can only provide a general response to your question but it’s important to recognize that the pressure you feel may be self-induced. In other words, these expectations may not be real or they may be exaggerated in your mind. Allow for the possibility that you are misreading the situation.
That is why meeting with a mental health professional is so important, because he or she can provide an objective assessment of your situation.
Do your best to seek mental health treatment. If you feel that you might harm yourself or someone else, call emergency officials so that they can protect you. I hope you’re able to find the help that you desire. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle