There are two things that immediately jumped out at me from your email. The first is that you apologize about how inarticulate you are, and then proceed to express yourself beautifully. Secondly, at the end you say that you want to take care of this by yourself. But I’m getting from these two comments is that even in spite of clear evidence that you are confident — you are not seeing yourself that way. Additionally, you believe that you have to manage everything on your own.
This is why I so appreciate your reaching out to us here at PsychCentral. This is not something for you to handle alone. The leadership role, the pressure, and the low feelings of confidence are all part of the same package. Somehow, you found yourself in a position where you believe you are the responsible one for many things. This is where a change needs to take place.
Since you are a college I would highly recommend going to the counseling center and have them help you reduce the responsibilities and stresses in your life. It sounds to me like your take on too much — and then feel overwhelmed. The counselors at the center can help you manage this process.
There’s an optimal amount of stress we each need in our life — like a violin string — if it’s pulled too tight it’s out of tune. Learn to define what that optimal level is and stay in that range. Too little won’t work and too much is overwhelming. You did the right thing by reaching out here, and I encourage you to reach out to the counselors at school.