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Sister’s Boyfriend Is Very Touchy Feely with Her 12 Year-Old Daughter

Asked by on with 1 answer:

My sister is in her 40’s and has a live-in boyfriend more than 10 years her junior. She has joint custody of her 2 kids, a 12 year-old daughter and a 16 year-old son, so they stay with her half the time. I visit them about once a month because of distance, but when I do, I’m there almost the whole day.

The way my sister’s boyfriend interacts with my niece makes me feel uncomfortable. He hugs her from behind and tickles her. The other day, we were at the store, and he playfully slapped her bottom in front of everyone. He shows a lot of PDA with my sister as well (which also makes me feel uncomfortable), so I guess it’s just his nature. Is it just me or is his behavior toward my niece inappropriate?

Sister’s Boyfriend Is Very Touchy Feely with Her 12 Year-Old Daughter

Answered by on -

A.

Thank you for your email. This is very hard to know because the descriptions you’ve given are too difficult to interpret. That being said, the most important thing here is the fact that you feel uncomfortable. Your discomfort should be something you should talk to your sister about. Let her know how you feel and why — and give her a chance to respond. I would begin with this conversation and see what happens.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Sister’s Boyfriend Is Very Touchy Feely with Her 12 Year-Old Daughter

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Sister’s Boyfriend Is Very Touchy Feely with Her 12 Year-Old Daughter. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 16, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/11/04/sisters-boyfriend-is-very-touchy-feely-with-her-12-year-old-daughter/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.