From a teen in the U.S.: I don’t think I am antisocial because I am always with my friends, it’s just that I would rather be alone. But if I could be my complete self around my friends I wouldn’t be writing this. When it comes to family I don’t mind being with them, but I just would rather be alone when it comes to my friends.
Like everyone else around me would rather be talking, or doing something, but me I don’t like to talk much. I guess my self confidence and self esteem is pretty much crushed and gone. But I don’t really know if that’s what the problem is because it’s always been like this, like if a friend wanted to come over I’d make up an excuse because I just sit around and do nothing and they’d probably be bored with me. The real me that is lol. Is all this even normal? :/
I have this friend, and pretty much every guy she meets falls in love with her. And it’s not because she’s drop dead gorgeous like you’re thinking, no, it’s because of her personality. She’s pretty, but I know it’s her personality that gets them all lol. She’s so outgoing, and cool, and she gives the guy all this love and shows she cares. Like if she likes someone she will put in all this effort to get them to fall for her, at first it didn’t really bother me and then I got more self concious and started noticing how many guys liked her and I just got jealous
I just wish I had someone to talk to, and I wish I knew how to feel good about myself, please help?
I don’t know if you have a self-esteem problem or if your problem is that you are comparing yourself to other people you know.
The fact is that people are on a sociability spectrum. Some people seem to be born sociable and chatty. On the other end of the continuum are people who are more introverted and more comfortable being alone or with a close friend or two. Anywhere on that spectrum is completely normal.
If you’d like to be around more people, and perhaps to build up your self-esteem, I’d suggest you get involved with volunteering at a charity that matters to you and where other young people give their time. When the focus is on the task, not on being Miss Congeniality, many people like yourself are more comfortable. Often working alongside others over time also leads to new friendships. Why don’t you give it a try?
I wish you well.
I Just Feel Antisocial All the Time
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Just Feel Antisocial All the Time. Psych Central.
Retrieved on September 16, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/11/03/i-just-feel-antisocial-all-the-time/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.