I’m very sorry you have been so hurt. But I don’t think there are contradictions in his behavior. He has consistently told you by his behavior that he isn’t in a space to be in a relationship. I can’t answer whether he ever loved you. Only he can answer that but it isn’t a useful question to pursue with him. He certainly seems to like you, but you aren’t able or willing to leave it at that. Even if he thinks he loves you, he knows he isn’t fit to be in a committed relationship at this point in his life.
From what you wrote, it looks to me that this man is unstable in much of his life including his job, his living situation, and his relationships. I do think he made the right decision when he told you he is unable to have a serious relationship until he is able to live a more adult life. He is correct that, at 30, it’s time for him to focus on himself. He needs to solve his problems with work, his parents, and people like you who try to get close to him.
Meanwhile, I suggest you take a big step back. You have been hurt each time you have tried to help him or be more than a friend. Please make yourself available to someone who can love you and cherish you and offer you a stable relationship.
I wish you well.