You may not realize it, but you have posed some big existential philosophical questions! According to the existentialists, we are all responsible for finding the meaning of life and living it fully. You are exploring those big issues and not settling for easy answers. It’s also possible that you have some anxiety that makes finding answers more difficult.
Setting goals is not likely the problem. Expecting yourself to meet them right away may be. I hope you can embrace the good things that are already happening in your life. That’s the first step. Then I encourage you to identify small steps that will help you be the person you want to be and to do one step a day. Remember — I said “small” steps. That may mean doing small random acts of kindness or working step by step to achieve some goal. Stop thinking so much about it and start
doing in a regular, small way. Small steps add up over time.
If anxiety and confusion continue to get in your way, I do suggest you see a therapist for a few sessions. A therapist can give you support as you struggle with your big and worthwhile questions and perhaps help you gain some new perspectives.
I wish you well.