Some of your symptoms may be indicative of bipolar disorder, but only an in-person evaluation could determine if a disorder is present.
Your reaction to the loss of two people with whom you were close may be normal but it might also indicate depression. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a world-famous expert in the field of death and dying, noted that there are at least five stages of grief that one goes through after a loss. Depression is one of those stages and sometimes people get stuck in a particular stage. Perhaps that has happened to you.
There are several things you can do. First, consider a bereavement support group. There may be some in your community.
Secondly, consider individual counseling. Choose a therapist who specializes in death and dying oriented counseling.
Third, you may want to read self-help books about grieving. There are many good books that might interest you.
Finally, you may also consider reading about near-death experiences or life after death. Dr. Kubler-Ross has written about both of these topics, among others including Raymond Moody and Brian Weiss.
It may sound counterintuitive, but many people gain great comfort in studying death and hearing stories from people who have claim to have died. People who have had near-death experiences, for instance, are profoundly moved by their experiences. In fact, it’s common among near-death experiencers, and the people who read about near-death experiences, to no longer fear death. These topics might be worth exploring. Most importantly, seek the help of a counselor and get their advice. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle