I started taking a medication that has several purposes but my reason was for precautionary measures after a single seizure. It’s Lamictal and you very well know it’s also used to manage bipolar disorder. I’ve been on it since February and it’s September now, so it’s been 7 months. My dosage is 200mg a day.
As soon as I started taking it in the beginning I began to notice a gradual stabilization in my mood. Before I would become depressed and apathetic and have moments of restlessness and hyper motivation. Thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind for years but I’ve never acted on them because I know I’d probably think differently later.
I’ve done my research on mental illness since I was 14. I’ve always had some strange attachment to them, specifically the types of bipolar disorders, borderline, and avoidant personality. I display a lot of symptoms for AvPD that I wouldn’t doubt I’d at least qualify for an evaluation. Oddly enough, I am able to manage myself because I’d like to avoid criticism as much as possible. And I have found fairly successful ways to manage my anxiety. But that’s not the point of my question. I realize my details are pretty vague and it’s basically impossible to be evaluated through text. But I do feel there is something wrong with me. I sometimes get careless with taking my medications because I feel it’s unnecessary. So I’ll go a few days to a week or so without it and then my anxiety gradually returns along with depressive thoughts, irritability and carelessness. Ive gone on some spending missions, luckily I grant myself a limit. So there is some personal control there. I’ll stay up late planning things I want to do and so on.
To sum it all up, I need to know how I can make sure I stay on this medication without having to go to a psychologist? My neuro doctor planned on weaning me off after a year and that year is up in 5 months. I like the stability. I’ve gotten so used to it that I worry I’ll crash hard when I’m completely cut off from lamictal. I feel the only way to stay on it is to somehow figure out what caused my seizure 7 months ago and trigger it again.