I’ve always been a sad and angry kid. I recently since I am an “adult” now and decided I was going to get the help I needed that my parents just didn’t understand. Its been 4 months in therapy. She’s diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder so I was reading up on It and it says all these awful things and that’s when I realize I’m just so messed up and I push people and this is why I’m alone and I have no friends. I talk to no one outside my family except my therapist. I can’t help but think I’m going to be like this for the rest of my life, miserable, and pathetic and I should put my self out of my misery already. And when ever I tell my therapist about my suicidal thoughts she always looks sad and she then calls my parents and makes me promise not to do anything and I hate it and I feel as if I shouldn’t tell her anymore and just act on impulse. So my question is does BPD always going to make feel like I should kill myself I’ve read articles where it says over time and with therapy the symptoms starts to leave but I don’t want to be like 40 and finally be ok I don’t want to be old and have been miserable when I was young. I just want to okay now and I’m not. And maybe it’s all in my head, my clouded thoughts. Should people be forced to live by the “loved ones” I don’t think that’s fair. I’ve been feeling so hopeless and I just need reassuring that I can be happy maybe in the not to distant future.I Don’t Know How I Can Go on Living
I Don’t Know How I Can Go on Living
Thank you for sending this powerful question. I believe the idea is for you to ultimately feel that you can manage these symptoms and be more in control of your life. In addition to sticking with therapy I would highly recommend you joining our forum for people with BPD. This can help as you begin to manage. The forums can provide the necessary emotional support as you work with your therapist.