When people are depressed, they tend to view the world through a lens of negativity. That’s part of the insidious nature of the disorder. It clouds one’s judgment which is why it’s always wise to seek professional help.
When trying to overcome negative thoughts, it’s always important to focus on reality. You might “feel that nothing goes well” for you but objectively, is that the case? Just because you feel that way doesn’t make it true. Feelings are not great indicators of the truth.
You are currently studying abroad and don’t seem to have much support. If you were home, you would probably have more support and feel less depressed.
Suicidal thoughts always need to be taken seriously. I’m not sure what the mental health system is like where you at but you should try to seek help. If it becomes too overwhelming, then consider returning home. Your current living situation, to some degree, may be contributing to your depression.
You should make your family aware of how you are feeling. They may be able to help.
Finally, if you feel that you might harm yourself, call for emergency assistance. Emergency personnel can protect you until you feel more stable. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle