You should listen to your heart and your brain! As much as we’d all like to believe that love is enough and can overcome anything, as a therapist who has witnessed many relationships fall apart, I can firmly say that love is not enough.
Healthy long lasting relationships contain love and affection but also many other factors such as compatibility, good communication, trust, commitment, respect, shared hopes and dreams, and common values. If your boyfriend works hard and does his best to contribute, even if he has a lower paying job than you, it could still work if you have these other factors. However, if you feel that he is lazy or doesn’t seem motivated to improve his condition, then chances are you will eventually resent him.
Our families cannot decide who we date or marry, but sometimes they do see things from an outside perspective that can be helpful. In the end, you are the one in the relationship and you have to trust your own instincts. If he brings enough to the table that you can imagine a happy future together then go for it, but if you have reservations and don’t have much dating experience to compare it to, it might really be worth taking some time to meet other guys and see how you feel when you are with them. Don’t rush yourself to make a decision and think about your future and what is most important to you. If there’s too much stacked against this particular relationship, have faith that you will find a better match.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts