Dear all, I was looking for answers on the internet when I came across this website. Here is my problem: My boyfriend is bipolar and he is taking his medication since 4 months now and he is willing to get his life back, so he is seeing his psychiatric on regular basis and taking his medications every day He is still very depressed, he had had a severe psychose episode, and was in hospital for almost a month. We travelled together when he was “maniac” and that lasted almost 2 months and then he is now facing depression for 4 months. I really have strong feelings for him but his condition is really scaring me and I’m really confused as I don’t know what to do, saying that, we have been dating for 6 months only and we are still getting to know each other better. What scares me the most is that sometimes, he seems to accept his condition but other time, he doesn’t think he is bipolar which makes things hard. I didn’t know anything about “bipolar” till I met him, and then I didn’t really researched much till the psychose episode when I really was scared of him, but I was scared he would kill himself. It was then when I started to search for informations and look for answer and read people’s feed back. I really want to be there for him, but seeing him depressed all the time is really hard as I feel useless. He spends his days seating in the couch and watching TV, smoking and might go for a walk. I’m 29 and I’m not sure this is the life that I want, saying that I really love him, but is it enough? I learnt recently that the medications are there to help, but the condition will be there forever, there could be less ups and downs but we will still have to deal with moods swings, is that true? I sometimes feel selfish because I just want to leave him and have a normal life, but I really want to fight for our couple and help him to get through this, even if sometimes I think I need help as well as dealing with a bipolar person is far away from being easy. I’m scared of being dragged in his own depression and just become a shadow of myself. Thank you for your help. (From Australia)
I appreciate that this is a tough issue for you. It is clear how much you care, yet at the same time it is clear how difficult his struggle is. It sounds as if his swings are rather intense and I would highly recommend he have a complete evaluation by a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist is going to be able to determine the nature of his medical needs.
Unfortunately this particular kind of illness really needs management by a professional at this stage. Your love and caring or exemplary. However he will need more than that in order to help him cope, and help you cope as a couple.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Boyfriend Is Bipolar. Psych Central.
Retrieved on September 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2015/10/16/my-boyfriend-is-bipolar/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.