I’m a little confused how you know the explicitness of her communication with these men if she is denying that they are sexual and is considering them as “girlfriends.” Either you have been snooping or her denial is very, very high. Either way, you have a problem.
I’m glad that you are looking for a therapist to help you understand the effects of her abuse and hope that this will eventually lead to some marital sessions as well. Sexual abuse can have dramatic effects and if it occurred over a long period of time like you describe, it can be worse. So yes, it could have affected her ability to understand and put up healthy boundaries with others. In addition to seeking therapy, I would suggest that you do some reading on loving someone who has been sexually abused. There are several good books written by therapists available.
In the meantime, it is appropriate for you to communicate with her about your own boundaries and what you are and are not comfortable with regarding her relationship with others. We all need friends outside of our primary relationship but our spouse should clearly come first.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts