Homicidal and suicidal thoughts are two sides of the same coin — both stemming from deep emotional suffering and an inability to deal with this emotional pain. They signify unhappiness, someone who feels as if their life isn’t going well.
Avoid reading crime novels or books that deal with death. Indulging your morbid interests reinforces your negative state of mind. It’s akin to adding fuel to a fire. Reading is not a cure for mental health issues but if you’re going to read, choose materials that will improve your state of mind. Read about kindness, love and patience, those sorts of things. They are healthy and positive.
Your friend’s recommendation for seeking help was a good one. You should ask your parents to take you to a mental health professional. A mental health professional will talk to you about what’s wrong and teach you how to deal with these urges. Therapy will transform your unhealthy urges into healthy urges. You can learn to deal with your emotional pain in a way that is productive and advantageous.
It’s important to recognize that many people, teenagers especially, felt the way you do now but with help, their lives improved. Mental health professionals want to help you. All you have to do is ask. Don’t hesitate to call 911 or go to the emergency room if you feel that you might harm yourself or someone else. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle