Just because you haven’t found your purpose in life does not mean that you’ll never find it. At 19 years old, you are only beginning your exploration. You only recently became an adult. In fact, recent research suggests that the brain isn’t fully developed until the age of 25. You are still a work in progress.
You might feel relieved to know that many people feel the way you do at your age. Developmentally, it is the time when people are beginning to discover their own wants, needs and desires. They are breaking away from their parents and becoming independent. It can be quite a turbulent time.
You might benefit from counseling. As you said, you have tried to correct your own thinking and it’s a struggle. Counseling is the process of learning how to make those changes in a systematic and healthy way. A therapist could serve as a supportive and objective coach for you during this process.
In the meantime, you might want to try new experiences in an attempt to find your “passion and purpose.” One idea is volunteering. Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, a great book about how to find meaning in one’s life, suggested that volunteering and helping others can be transformative. It can bring new meaning into one’s life. I hope this helps. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle